Candles

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[britni here] Hi, thanks for looking at our salty candles. These 6 oz, beauties are poured by hand in Homer, Alaska, by MY MOM!! (You were wondering why the salt company had candles, weren't you?

We switched to lovely, hardy tins that are safe for travel and/or rugby. (ya never know)

 

Which salty candle speaks to you?

Leave Me Alone Time

[white lily & aloe] After a long day of working, faking it through Zoom meetings, parenting, or simply being around other people, light this candle to send a message: Y'all need to be somewhere else rn, and, hint, nowhere near me. #memyselfandI

Baby Moose Toots

[bergamot & honey] Nothing's sweeter than long wobbly legs, ears to match, and soft whiskery noses that will melt you into a worthless puddle of adoration. Little baby moosies are so precious, even their toots smell cute. #cutetoots

Mermaid Nipples

[lily of the valley, jasmine, musk] Imagine sticking your nose into the scallop shell bralette of the sea's most beautiful siren and taking a big sniff. That's what this candle smells like. We did the hard work so you can enjoy this scent without getting wet or slapped. #nipsniff

Lumberjack Fantasy

[spruce-y woods] Imagine yourself on a solo walk in the forest, only to stumble upon a big biceped, hot, sweaty, sex machine in plaid - confidently chopping firewood into helpless little splinters. That's what this candle smells like. #ilikewood

Orangegasm

[orange & vanilla creme] This toe-curling, back-arching scent will have your home smelling like an orange creamsicle cosmos of all things wonderful. Your guests will walk in and ask, "What smells so, sooo, soooooo, oh god, ahem, so good in here?" #Oface

Socially Distant

[black cherry] Ah, the sweet, black cherry smell of being safely 6 to 1,000 feet away from everyone else. And if anyone gets too close, just point the orange, hot flamey part of this candle towards them until they back the truck up. #backupbitch

 

Each of these sassy candles has a funny description on the label and smells delicious. You'll have to trust us since you can't smell through the screen. 

Warning! This is a candle. This means that while in use, it will be on fire. So don't leave it unattended. Don't put your sweater on it. Don't knock it over. Don't touch the orange, hot, flamey part. Supervise your children while in use, and all the time.

 

Made by hand in Homer, Alaska.

 

*While these candles are salty in name, they do not actually contain salt. Since they are not meant to be eaten, that shouldn't really bum you out.