[britni] Plastic. It's what's for dinner.

[britni] Plastic. It's what's for dinner.

 

A while back someone sent me a National Geographic article that reported finding microplastics in 90% of sea salts from all over the world.

As an owner of a sea salt harvesting business, this news was horrifying. 

As a human being on planet earth in 2019... well, it wasn't necessarily all that shocking.

I know about global warming / climate change and pollution and whales gagging on plastic islands and blah, blah, blah. Mama Earth is in bad shape and I've been hearing about it for most of my life (because I am only 26).

 

Scientific depiction of whale gagging on marine debris  submitted by professors from a made up University 2019

Scientific depiction of whale gagging on marine debris.

Photo submitted by professors from a made up University 2019

 

 

The truth is, I've grown up knowing about the sad state of our planet but always felt like many of these issues were bigger than me and, well, it is just the way things are (shrug emoji).

Until recently, I tried not to be wasteful and did a mediocre job at recycling. I had reusable totes for the grocery store too (but lets be real. They only got used like 10% of the time or when my mother in law was in town).

I was doing "enough".

That was until those little plastic fuckers got into my salt. 

 

By M.Danny25 - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=37727718Microplastics are tiny pieces of plastic (less than 5mm in length) that degrade and pollute the environment. 
[Photo by M.Danny25 - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0]

 

 

So I admit, my original motivations for learning about The Plastic Problem were quite selfish in nature. However, when I started to learn more about microplastics I knew I had to do SOMETHING and not just for our little salt company but for the whales and the fishes too.

Most of our planet is covered in ocean. If I am going to do anything in this life that is worth a damn, it might as well be trying to keep all those little plastic fuckers (TLPFs) out of it. 

So where do we start? Yes, WE. I assume that if you're still reading this you might be interested in learning more - or you've just been pooping *forever*. 

 

 

I'm starting my "doing something" with a 10-week social media series in partnership with The Center For Alaskan Coastal Studies that will hopefully give everyone a laugh, be interesting enough to read, and provide helpful little tips on what we can all do to keep TLPFs out of the ocean.

All you need to do for now is read my ramblings. If you're feeling all jacked up on save-the-world projects you can also like/comment/share these posts. 

Yep, that's it. Then we will learn together WTF to do about some of these problems. 

It will be fun. :) AND EASY. I promise.

Oh, and to make this first post extra special - a recipe!

 

Easy Weeknight Plastacos

 

Humans are consuming approximately a half pound
or EIGHT of the pictured plastacos per year (insert puke emoji)

 

Ingredients:

  • 4 sheets Polyethylene Terephthalate (PET or PETE or Polyester), cut into 10" rounds
  • 3 cups Low-Density Polyethylene (LDPE), finely chopped
  • 6 cups Polypropylene (PP), cubed
  • 2 oz of  Polyvinyl Chloride (PVC) shavings

 

Directions:

Lay out all 4 circles of PET. These are your taco shells. PET is known for being a sturdy plastic that is wrinkle free and reduces oxygen from passing through. This means your plastacos will stay good for at least 86 years!

Evenly distribute a bed of Polyethylene in each plastaco and place cubed polyproplyene on top. (Polyproplyene is one of the least toxic plastics to humans, so it's basically healthy). 

Last but not least, generously sprinkle PVC shavings over the top of each taco before folding. Yes, PVC is "pretty risky" to consume so use only as a garnish. 

Fold up your plastacos and serve! 

 

Helpful hint: 

I like to use a little scotch tape to hold the plastacos together, especially when making these for the kiddos!! #messfreemom

 

Recipe note:

If you're feeling nervous about making your first plastic dish, rest easy. Humans are already eating more than HALF A POUND of plastic (or 8 plastacos - like I actually weighed this plastaco and we eat approx 8) per year.

 

Recipe disclaimer:

This is a joke. Please don't intentionally eat plastic, especially plastacos.

 

Kids Love Plastacos!!

 

And Dads!!!

 

This is me Recycle diving for Plastaco Ingredients. Definitely got some weird looks.

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2 comments

Very funny and creative approach to a seriously catastrophic problem. (Maybe dis the “dirty” words?)
What can consumers do besides not using plastic grocery bags? Buying products in paper/boxes or jars instead of plastic, use small cloth bags for putting produce in (like nylon bags you can buy at Fred Meyer’s in their produce section, but you can make your own). I’m old enough to remember buying meat in heavy paper boats as opposed to the syrofoam and plastic absorbent pads used now. It is somewhat sickening to think of all that in the landfill. Sigh. Just try to go one week without throwing the plastic that covers something you bought into the trash.

Therese

This is fantastic! Funny and real. I look forward to reading more!

Jennifer DePesa

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