Why Some Salt Co. Newsletters Have Nothing To Do With Salt.

Written on April 13, 2020

[Britni] COVID-19 has changed life for us all. We can all feel it in our everyday life in one way or another. Some of us are working harder than ever, scrambling because of the stupid virus. Others are bored at home, still getting their paycheck or collecting unemployment. No matter who you are, I'm fairly certain it is safe to say your life has probably changed in a big way. For some of us, things likely won't go back to the way they were and we will mark 2020 as a pivotal year when our life path changed course.

For me, it will mark the year I began my writing career. Now, this might seem like I am getting ahead of myself, but hear me out. Once we had to close down 5th Avenue, and the realization set in that our summer tourist season isn't coming, we knew we had to switch our focus completely to online sales. The number one driver of our online sales so far (and for most companies) is through email marketing. This situation has forced me to start writing, which, I just so happen to love doing. Also, with the era of social distancing, people are craving human connection. For now, the only way we can share this is through technology.

Clearly, I haven't taken the standard approach to email marketing - mostly because I can't stand marketing emails.. and have really dug deep into my soul to answer the question: what kind of email would I read? Oh, and you can't forget: What will encourage customers to purchase our products? This strange little combination has been the perfect recipe storm for me to put a fuck load of pressure on myself:

Britni needs to write incredible content daily, so that our remaining staff can keep their jobs. 

Each email needs the perfect amount of hilarity, just the right discount, product mentions, but not too much product talk, should probably be relevant to our business and I need to do one every single day..  

And today I realized.. this is simply not possible. 

Tonight I brought this inner struggle up to Casey and Holly, and they encouraged me to just write creatively. I can't expect emails alone to generate enough revenue to keep salt co afloat. I also can't just not write them, because we have received so many wonderful messages from all of you Salties out there saying how much you look forward to reading them everyday. We even got an actual physical card in the mail today with nice words about our email newsletter! Our Salty community has been so solid in supporting us through this crisis, I feel like I'd be letting you all down by not continuing to write, regardless of having a product to promote or expecting a surge of sales.

Amazingly sweet customer card full of nice words.

Of course... there's always one. We got a hate email this morning from someone after the "Saltylicious" email saying "Sorry Britni, but this one is getting deleted". Like, what. You made it THIS far, and now Dan's bum is what sends you over the edge?? A detailed explanation of what a salty facial is wasn't too much for you, but a butt crack is going to compel you to write to me, personally to let me know that you don't approve? What the fucking fuck. A butt? Pretty sure butts are allowed on PBS. I don't get it.

I decided today that I am going to write up some really detailed instructions how to UNFUCKINGSUBSCRIBE yourself that I can copy and paste in response to hate emails. [even though, to date, we have only actually gotten 2 of them]. It's pretty simple, if you don't like it, don't read it. I would definitely never expect anyone to read this bizarre, personal, business, diary, email, blog, newsletter thing. But some people do!! and they write back with encouraging words.. so I am here for those people and I am going to continue to write like my job depends on it.. because it does. And because I really enjoy writing. I look forward to this part of my day, too.

All of this is to say: sometimes I might write about things that have absolutely nothing to do with Salt Co. because I run out of shit to say about Salt Co.. Plus, I want to keep the integrity of the content and the loyalty of our readers. Sometimes I get a big fat writers block trying to come up with the perfect stuff to write about, and I think with the pressure released to keep it all perfectly perfect, I'll come up with some better things to read while also not harassing you to buy our products (at least not too much).

So please keep sending the positive messages if you appreciate the newsletter. As you can imagine, as an email comedian, it is difficult to read your audience if they don't write back.. If you'll forgive us in advance for not responding to all of the messages I would appreciate that, too. (I know I am asking a lot here). We do our best to write back to everyone, and while we can't, we appreciate them all the same. The words of encouragement keep us going and often give us a good laugh. You all are hilarious. 

Today I really appreciated this one:

 "I wouldn't have minded a full-on feminist rant in there as well"

I loved this, because my greatest fear in these writings is being boring.. And THIS person is just egging me on.. ha! The saltylicious email was already getting so long.. I was like, Britni, you can't go there. Not tonight. At some point it's just rambling..

Like right now. It's time to stop. The message has been delivered: 

The Salt Co. email might not be about salt. But it will serve the purpose of entertainment to a loyal customer base of salties. It's the least we can do.

With that, I'm off to start my writing career.  

- Britni aka Salt Lady