Let's Talk Hair. [Email Sent 5-18-21]

The Salt Co. Diaries
Is this your first email diary? Please read this fair warning before reading further.

We are sort of in the middle of a "series" if you will, a telling of how Alaska Salt Co. came to be what it is today.... however.. I just don't feel like it today so here's a regular ole diary entry..
[britni] Dear Diary..

Sorry it has been a minute.. we've got our hands full over here getting ready for a busy summer season :)

Let’s talk hair. I feel like talking about hair and since this is a strange, one way relationship that I have with 20k or so of you.. well, I guess we will talk about what I want to talk about, won't we? [insert only child emoji]

If you don’t have hair, then this email isn’t for you.. so probably just skip this one (sorry, dad). 

Kidding. You can stay. We all usually have hair somewhere right? ..are people still wearing pubes these days? I never can keep up with the latest hair trends. Or my own hair care program for that matter. 

 
I think I’ve mentioned here before, I haven’t had a haircut or even a trim in over two years. This is not on purpose, I'm just busy. My own personal body maintenance hasn’t exactly been a priority since the birth of our business and my children. BUT I am scheduled for a cut and highlight on Thursday. So yay about that.

When it comes to hair south of the border (“border” being my bellybutton in this case) I historically take the sheep approach . I grow ‘er on out, then shear that shit once every quarter or so, once it’s good and long enough to spin into some prickly yarn for knitting warm beanies with. 

And leg hair!? Pfft. Bottom of the hair removal prio list.. TIA (this is Alaska). My ass crack makes the cut (pun intended) before my legs do. This is because I recently saw a TikTok video that enlightened me to the fact that our buttholes can be seen when we’re doin’ it doggie style. Which, scientifically, of course this makes complete sense. Until now, I believe I was in denial on a subconscious level about this reality. I just didn’t want to believe it I guess and I certainlydidn’t want to have to mow the back 40 on the reg. What a chore!
I'm not saying I've let it just go wild my whole life, I just haven't been expecting visitors ya know..

Between my armpits, my new/sudden late 20s beard and mustache, pubes, leg hair and the hair on my head, I've got quite enough hair to deal with. And now to have to do the super sonic shower spread with a razor all up in my delicates!? ugh.
 
BUT. I’m not giving up doggie. So I'm trying to not let things get too out of hand back there. [insert lawn mower, weed whacker & hedge trimmer emoji]

Can you imagine if men (I mean straight men here, obviously) felt the need to maintain the appearance of their buttholes to be show ready?? I don’t know about y’all’s husbands, but I’m not even 100% certain that Casey has a butthole. I’d have to pull up my boot straps and machete-hack my way into the un-enchanted forest like a god damn pirate to find out. No thank you. If you can’t tell, we aren’t into butt stuff. Saving that for like our late 60s when we need to get creative to keep things spicy. That is some serious, sex life strategy for the long game right there.  

Anyway. I’m not here to talk about bootyhole hair. 
I mainly want to talk about head hair. North of the border stuff. 
 
These memes are my way of saying I am about to talk about shampoo..
OK this one really speaks to my soul. Casey is a simple man.. BUT he recently started using a beard oil that smells, oh, so good. So good. He has to pry me off of his face in the mornings after he puts it on.. so naturally he started putting it on his pubes.. 
Our awesome Soap lady makes the beard oil, I'll get it in the shop so y'all can buy some, too :)
Anyhoosies.. back to shampoo. The whole point of all of this spew of info was to tell you that we have TWO NEW SHAMPOO/CONDISH FLAVES!!!!!! Yay. 

These bars have been so wildly popular and we are getting SO fucking MANY positive reviews, we decided to expand the line.. because we aren't over here busting our scratchy non-shaven buns to not get rich, ya know. 

See some reviews below.. you'd think these people were getting paid, but they are not!! If you already know how awesome these are, skip the reviews to the flave drop and discount.. you know the drill. 
I mean, you get the idea.. they're awesome. and of course I am biased but I am not the only one who thinks so... & this is only a few of the reviews..
aaaaannnnd we gave these sudsy, little bitches some fun, new names. yay. 

Introducting... OUR NEW 'POOS!

Queen Bee - Lavender and honey delightfulness.

Orange You Glad - because if we said banana, you'd stop shopping here.. this is a subtle mix of orange and clove and oh so yum. 

Morning Wood - Cedar, but just calling it 'Cedar' wouldn't be as fun or sell as many bars :)

The orange and clove combo is my absolute favorite. Maybe because I am partly orange?:
That's my actual hair color.. no editing here.. [insert orange emoji] [insert carpet emoji] [insert drapes emoji] [insert matchstick emoji]
 
That's all I got y'all. I might write another email tomorrow, or maybe after the summer. We shall see!! Signing off to get back to all the other things at 3:02 pm Alaska Time.
Enjoy 12% off of your next order with this discount code:

BOOTYHOLE

Because I am still growing up, and giggle at this word. It expires Monday, May 24th 2021 at 11:59 pm Alaska Time. 
OH, before I forget, here are a few more things:

1. I am doing a little workshop tomorrow (Wednesday) through the Alaska Small Business Development Center: 

Turn Your Followers Into Fans: The Basics of Authenticity in Social Media


Click here for more info about it. 

2. My kids go to an amazing, but very expensive, super cool and wonderful, but also very expensive, completely outdoor forest school (yeah, even in winter in Alaska, our kids go to school outside) [insert my kids are going to be more badass than your kids emoji].
The school is selling these actually super cute T-shirts to raise funds and maybe, just maybe if like 40 or 50 thousand of you buy some shirts, our tuition will go down [insert 'here's to hoping' emoji]. But seriously, the shirts are cute. Check them out here. It comes in several colors. 
OK now I am for reals getting off of here. I am sure I forgot something that I am supposed to put in this email.. Until next time!

- the SALT LADY 

Sea Salt.

Harvested by hand with love and respect for the ocean.
SHOP SALT
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