Meet Pat [email sent 4-20-21]

The Salt Co. Diaries
Is this your first email diary? Please read this fair warning, ok? Great. 
 
[britni]  Oh diary. Fuck me. 
Ya. That's the vibe for Casey and me today. Not like in a 'poor me' way. This isn't going to be one of those wah-wah emails. But "Fuck me" in a like, "ok life, bring it on, then." [insert getting knocked down in the dirt, then standing back up, dusting off your pants and trying to look ready for more, emoji]
If you read my last email, you know we had a big weekend and I interrupted our "Salt Co. Start-Up Story Series" to tell you about it. Welp. I've got just one more email in me before I can get back to the series. Because sometimes life hands you entertaining content on a golden platter as a compromise for the dump it is taking on you, and it would be literally criminal not to write about it. 

Before I get started, if you somehow missed Instagram, Facebook and Tiktok over the weekend..

Please allow me to formally introduce you to our son, Pietro (formerly referenced by his confidential alias, 'Pat')....
Isn't he just absolutely fucking adorable. Are you kidding me?? No teeth. Huge grin. This photo completely captures the essence of Pietro. Cripes I love this kid.
These are our kids :) aren't they beautiful?  it still feels weird to share a photo and type his actual name in "the email".
Alright. Back to the story about today, when it has felt like life is bending us over and putting 'just the tip' in our asses to remind us that we are all just little bitch ass humans at the mercy of existence. 

ESPECIALLY AS PARENTS.

I don't care who you are.. none of us are perfect parents and pre-kids, you're all.. "shit, I would never let my kids act like that" post-kids, you're like, "what the in the actual fuck is happening right now."
I realize for some (PABs) that this ^ isn't a funny thing to joke about, but like the word 'pussy', I feel entitled to "go there" on this one... [insert crying/laughing/coping emoji].
So we had our adoption day Thursday and it was wonderful. Friday, great. Saturday morning, fantastic. Then on Saturday evening something happened that I don't feel is appropriate to share in the email diaries.. Not because it is bad, but Pietro is still close with some of his biological family members and it is not my place to share their story.. only mine. So I will say this, there was an event that took place with Pietro that was out of his ordinary routine, that, combined with his big week of adoption and a whole long story of his life up until now lead to Sunday afternoon when he just gave us absolute hell. 

Normal, given the circumstances, but still hell.
We ended the night with an early bed time and "we will talk more about this after school tomorrow."

The next morning (yesterday) Casey did say to me that Pietro seemed a bit off, but nothing we could quite pinpoint. 

When I went to pick up the kids from school, their teacher mentioned to me that Pietro had a rough day and she went on to explain some of the steps they were taking to address the behaviors. I explained what had happened over the weekend and before our conversation had been completed we were interrupted by screaming from the car. 

I went over to investigate and, damn it, Pietro had punched Hadley. A behavior not out of the ordinary when he first moved in with us, but now, I can't remember the last time he hurt her this way. 

UGH. :(
This meme has nothing to do with anything, but if you haven't noticed, memes are how I cope with life. 
We take acts of violence and physical aggression really seriously. There's no "boys will be boys" bullshit in this house. It is not ok to hit people. Period. 

So, we had a talk, and later that night, it came out that one of the issues he had at school that day was that he had punched a boy in his class. What! noooo. Two punches in one day!? gah.

Pietro went to bed early (remember, his favorite thing) and Casey and I made plans to meet with his teachers before school today to talk about what happened yesterday and what to do about it all. (Our kids go to a small school that is nothing short of ultra-awesome and we are so lucky to have really supportive teachers who are flexible and work with us so much.)

Pietro knew that we were going to talk with his teachers about the punch festival, but went to play with the other kids while we had our meeting. As a group we made plans about some preventative action (stopping rough play before it goes too far), adding to a contract between Pietro and his teacher that they have already made, supportive group discussions before and after school, and finally, if there is any violent/aggressive behavior, Pietro's teachers will call Casey or me right away and we will come pick him up from school. 
This discussion felt productive and took around 15 minutes in all. Right as we were wrapping things up, we got news from one of the other teachers:

"Pietro just punched so and so in the face"
- clearly, not a direct quote.

Casey's legit first thought was, "right, that happened yesterday.. that's why we are here having a meeting.."



NOPE.
Nope, just now. Right as we are having a parent/teacher meeting about the latest punch parade, Pietro punched again. 




and then life was like:
And so, we loaded up our son and talked through what to do next. 

You guys. I prefaced, and ended this story with references to life fucking us in the ass because the only way I know how to express myself is through comedic writing and swear words. This parenting business, especially that of a foster/adopt situation is no joke. But I don't in any way feel like a victim of life and don't want to portray that. In fact, I think Casey and I have handled ourselves really well in the last couple of days. We've been incredibly supported by our family, Pietro's family and his teachers. 

The events of the last few days were a not so subtle reminder that while the scary, legal parts of this adoption are behind us, parenting is not likely going to get any easier real soon. We know that. Please don't email us with parenting advice or guesses as to why he is behaving this way. You don't know the whole story and, trust me, we are on it. We are working with his school, his mental health clinician, his occupational therapist and many other supportive professionals. This isn't the first and won't be the last time we deal with some intense parenting shit. 

And after a day of getting "kicked out of kindergarten", another "family meeting" and yet again, an early bedtime, I think we really made some progress today. Prior to the last 48 hours, Pietro has been doing great. In fact, knowing what he has been through in his short little life, he impresses the fuck out of me every single day. Despite the little baby baggage he is carrying around (that is more than most adults have endured) he is the little kid you see in the photo above, on the boat. He is happy, outgoing, wild, smart, hilarious and an oh so loving little kid.
I'm fine. You're fine. We're all doing great. Here's a 15% off discount code:

JUST-THE-TIP

This code expires on 4-22-21 at 11:55 pm Alaska Time. Restrictions apply. Legal bullshit.
You guys, come drink a glass of wine with me and Holly on the 24th, we deserve it. We're going to learn and bake and drink and it will be so fun. Read more about it here.

Holly did another trial batch of the crackers, because she is thorough af like that..
This is making me hungry, and sleepy. I've had a long day of thinking real hard :) 

Signing off at 12:14 am. and it is a school night for this mama (fuckin' hopefully all my kids go to, and stay at school tomorrow). 

Good night. I love you all.
Peace love and salt y'all.

- Britni
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