I know y'all are expecting part # 3 of the series, and I promise I will jump right back in with my next email, but tonight we have to take quick break because I have some legit email diary venting that I need to do. I am sure you understand.
*Disclaimer* In this email, you will read about trivial problems that do not matter, yet will be written about in the most dramatic way possible for, venting and entertainment purposes only. Know that I know these are not realproblems, but I am going to write about them like they are. Ok? Ok.
All kids go through the phase of telling lies. Some, more than others and this is normal. Our child, *Pat is going for the "most lies ever told by one child in a month" award and it is looking like Pat is going to win by several horse lengths. Casey and I have been trying several parenting strategies to deal with this, and clearly none of them are working, at least not yet. Yes, this is likely "just a phase" but the lying still has to be addressed, and it is getting exhausting.
What do you know, Pat told an obvious (like elephant in the room) lie this afternoon. Just whipped up a good ole lie and handed it over on a silver platter. We are by no means trying to catch this kid in a lie, they are just so obvious and so unbelievable, it is if they are just being told for sport. Not even to avoid getting in trouble, or exaggerating a story. Just a kid who is like:
"My passion project is lying for no reason, like a hobby, only more committed."
*"Pat" is the alias of our foster child who we are soon to adopt and until then cannot reveal any personally identifying information about.
After the blatant lie this afternoon, I went down the rabbit hole of parenting blogs, specific to how to respond to repetitive lying behavior. I read from several sources that it is a good idea to have a "family meeting" where you talk about the importance of honesty and the natural life consequences of telling lies. I also read about including your kids in the conversation about what they think the consequence should be if a lie is told.
So there we were today, the four of us in a "serious" family meeting, discussing the different types of lies (exaggeration, omitting the truth, lies to get out of trouble or avoid responsibility) and how they all breach trust the same. We talked about how lies never, ever make situations better and how it takes a long time to rebuild trust after lying. We discussed some consequences and all agreed, as a family that we should not lie to each other. The conversation went on for about 30 minutes or so (eternity in kid time) & wrapped up like this:
britni: "So we can all agree that we will make every effort not to lie to each other? And if a lie is told, the consequence will be a time out right away, and will be followed by no screen time for the rest of the day and an early bedtime?"
Pat: "I don't agree to the early bedtime part."
britni: "Why is that?"
Pat: "Because we are not supposed to like the consequences and I like going to bed early."
. . .
"I. Like. Going. To. Bed. Early."
. . .
I don't think I need to say this.. But I'll toss it in for good measure...
Pat despises nothing more on this planet than taking naps and/or going to bed early. It's a well known fact. To lie for sport during a family meeting about the lying problem..
To make matters worse, in between our parenting challenges today, I was doing what I do best: laundry. Laundry and muttering to myself all the wise things I was going to say during our important family meeting. I was putting away laundry in our room and discovered the unthinkable.
Some of you know what is coming because you've been reading this diary for a while.. and you've read about the one, major disagreement we have had in our household, and likely the very reason we will be divorced one day.. And today, I found in Casey's sock drawer, the one thing that all should pray to god I never find....
SINGLE. FUCKING. SOCKS.
In the drawer..
. . .
I of course, brought this up to Casey. And after a long pointless discussion about systems for doing laundry the conversation wrapped up like this:
britni: "but you're not the one who almost always does the laundry, I don't see why you can't respect my system on this one..."
Casey: "It just doesn't make sense to me, besides, I can just grab any two socks of the same style out of my drawer, even if they aren't the same color. I don't see why that is such a big deal."
It is me against the world today, y'all. There's probably typos and broken links all up in this bitch. I don't give a shit. I've been in actual battle all day and I'm fucking done defending myself. No editors on this one.
Tonight, I'm going to drink my wine and put away the rest of the laundry THE RIGHT FUCKING WAY. & then I am going to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow, a brand new day, to do battle all over again.
Cheers to the folks that don't tell lies and put laundry away, the right way - you are my people.
Hug your spouses n' sweethearts tonight, because you love them, but also give them the side-eye. Because lawd knows the deserve it for something.